Every night before bed we ask you to help us put away your toys. Usually, you help while singing a song that goes “clean up, clean up, every day.” It’s definitely cuter than it is efficient; we could probably do it ourselves in half the time. But that’s not the point. The point is to make picking up your toys a habit. And my hope is that this habit leads to taking care of your toys and eventually taking care of all your stuff. Because whether it’s your favorite purple car, an actual purple car, or even your own health, like Ben Franklin said, “an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.”
Let’s start small, with the toys. As you grow, you’re going to notice I insist we clean and put away our toys after we get them dirty. This goes for little toys like baseball gloves and soccer balls and big toys like kayaks, bikes, and all the associated gear. The immediate reason is simple; water breaks stuff. Mold, mildew, rust are all the result of getting your toys wet and dirty and leaving them that way. Cleaning them up after use not only stops that mold, mildew, and rust from happening, but it gives you the chance to do whatever preventative maintenance you should be doing.
Whether it’s oiling a bike chain, lubing a drysuit zipper, or drying out your hydration pack, taking care of things makes them last longer. When they last longer, you don’t have to spend money to replace them. And when you’re not constantly replacing your toys, you can use that money for other things. For example, more toys.
Checking your gear after you use it also saves you trouble the next time you get it out. Would you rather discover a crack in your kayak paddle in your garage, or in the middle of a rapid? What about a leak in your bike tire? Much better to find it at home than halfway through a 20 mile trail ride, right? Same thing goes for actual cars. While nobody likes paying for repairs, I’d much rather have a mechanic tell me I need new brakes than realize it when I’m coming up on a stop sign at 45 miles an hour.
Hopefully, you followed the leap from toys and gear to actual cars. But if you didn’t, change your oil when you’re supposed to. Do your scheduled maintenance if you buy quality, your cars will last as long as you need them to. And if you understand what I’ve said so far, you can follow along as I apply that lesson to you.
Not your toys, but your body, your mind, your spirit. And if you buy into my advice that taking care of your toys is important, what does that make taking care of your body? Especially since you can buy new toys, but only get one body.
And look, I’m not going all 1st Corinthians and telling you that “your body is a temple.” I’m also not going Anthony Bourdain, who said “your body is not a temple, it’s an amusement park. Enjoy the ride.”
My advice is to find the happy spot in the middle and live there. Transparently, I haven’t always been kind to my body. I’ve probably leaned more towards the Bourdain philosophy, and am at 7 orthopedic surgeries and counting. That said, at 44, I’ve learned some things and given up some activities I can’t do anymore. And here’s me once again hoping you’ll learn from my mistakes without repeating them.
Learn to take care of yourself and move your body in a way that feels good for you. Try sports, exercise, and stay active. Like prevention and cure, it’s much easier to keep yourself in shape than it is to get yourself back in shape. And it’s also much easier to keep yourself in shape if you enjoy the movement that keeps you that way, so try different activities until you find one you love and can do.
As your body changes and ages, you might have to find new activities that are better suited for you. Yes, some assholes run marathons well into old age. Most of us don’t. After three hip surgeries, I traded soccer and Crossfit for swimming laps and mountain biking, but I’m not trading kayaking for water aerobics anytime soon.
Wear sunscreen. If you want the same sunscreen advice set to music, check out Baz Lurhmann’s version.
As for what you put in your body, it probably matters as much as what you do with your body. Your Mom and I will introduce you to all kinds of foods and cuisines, but at some point you’ll have to shop for and feed yourself. As someone who’s struggled with weight and dieting for most of my life, I could give you at least a dozen “correct” ways to eat. I won’t though, because most of them aren’t sustainable, and if I’d found one that worked, I’d still be doing it. Instead, I’ll give you Michael Pollan’s version of a sensible diet. “Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.” And by food, he means real food -- vegetables, fruits, whole grains, and, yes, fish and meat -- and to avoid "edible food-like substances." Start there. Learn and make your own decisions, but know that those decisions will affect your health.
Eat plenty of fiber; it helps you poop.
When your body doesn’t feel good, go to the doctor. Figure out what’s wrong with you, and take care of the problem. Again, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Whether it’s your teeth, your joints, your skin, or your heart, when you catch a problem early, it’s easier to fix. You might not like flossing, but I bet you’ll really hate getting a root canal.
Last, and maybe most important, your mental health.
I’m a big fan of being proactive on this, because I’ll fallen into the trap of ignoring it, and it did not go well. Thankfully, I had my family and your Mom to lean on.
See, I have anxiety and depression, and I work hard to manage them and keep my mental health in a good place. I see a psychiatrist on a regular basis and a therapist on a more regular basis. It’s not an easy process, but I’m committed to doing the work required to manage these conditions.
Why? Because I want to be here, with you, and I want to be present when I’m here. Because as hard as it is to dig through my feelings and emotional baggage, drowning in anxiety and worry is even worse. And because I want to set a good example for how to deal with your feelings, understand your emotions, and keep them in balance.
I’m going to repeat it because it bears repeating: An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, especially when it comes to mental health, and even for people without mental illness.
See, at some point, life will piss in your proverbial cornflakes. As much as I want to protect you from all the things in the world that will hurt you, I can’t, and I shouldn’t. Because life is full of adversity, and facing it is part of growing up.
But when it does come, make time and space to deal with it. If you’re grieving, talk about it with a friend, or see a grief counselor. If you can’t stop worrying, talk to a therapist or even a psychiatrist. And as long as your Mom and I are here, you can always come talk to us about anything.
So. Remember this: wear sunscreen, change your oil, take care of your toys, and eat plenty of fiber. Take better care of your body than you do your toys, and don’t let your feelings fester. Tackle life’s problems head-on, and before they get so big you can’t tackle them yourself.
And most of all, remember that your Mom and I love you.
Dad
I originally planned to finish this series in twelve months, intending to write one entry a week for 52 weeks. But, other things came up and I didn’t have as much time as I thought I would. We moved, you started a new school, I had other projects, etc. But finally, I’m starting my last entry in September, nine months after I’d planned. Which is the perfect intro to this one.
Time is funny like that. It marches on like a metronome, indifferent to how much you wish it would slow down or speed up. It offers no do-overs, no matter how frivolously you spend it. And it gives zero fucks what you planned to accomplish in the time you had. Once that time is over, you’ll get no more. But, it also stretches out ahead of you into an unknown future, offering untold possibility and infinite choices.
Which is why I hope you both learn to make choices about how you spend your time and understand what those choices mean. Because while there’s never enough time for everything, there’s still enough time to do almost anything.