The title of this entry is not a typo, but a restatement of an idea from G. K. Chesterton. He said, “anything worth doing is worth doing badly." He (and I) aren’t suggesting you set out to fail at life. No, the idea here is to free yourself from the tyranny of failure. And you might remember some of this logic from my earlier post Fuck up, but don’t be a fuck-up. Maybe I’m repeating myself, but one, I’m pretty sure that’s what parents do, two, this is a different twist on that idea, and three, let’s see you come up with a completely original piece of advice every week for a year without repeating yourself.

If I were to condense all of my Dad’s fatherly advice during my childhood to one sentence, it would be “don’t force it.” He usually meant it literally; if I was putting something together or taking it apart and something got stuck or wouldn’t fit. “Don’t force it,” he’d say, and every time I strip a screw or snap a piece of plastic in half trying to put something together, I hear that in my head. Dammit, Dad, I forced it.

Remember that every time you’re turning a wrench or driving a screw and you’ll break less stuff.

I hope that you win with class and lose with grace. Congratulate the other side when things don’t go your way, and be a kind and graceful winner when they do. That’s a big wish, but most of all, I hope you don’t inherit my temper and the urge to break things when you lose. It’s embarrassing, expensive, and even at 44, when your Uncle Drew outdrives me and I duck hook one into the woods, I still have to talk myself out of snapping a golf club in half.

But first, let me clarify: I’m talking sports and sportsmanship, but like much of what happens on the field, this translates to the rest of your life.

“Don’t meet your heroes,” goes the old saying. Why? Because there’s a good chance you’ll be disappointed, that’s why. And what then? What if they’re not as great as you thought they were? Will they still be your heroes? The sad truth is, you don’t have to actually meet your heroes to be disappointed. I’ve never met a rapist comedian, a doping cyclist, or a legendary football coach who covered up the sexual abuse of young boys. And yet I’ve been disappointed by all three.

Should you have no heroes? Seems awfully cynical. Especially since some people do mind-blowing shit that’s completely awesome, if not inspiring. Seeking role models and heroes is a part of growing up and a part of being human. Instead, I say go right ahead and meet your heroes, warts and all. Just be prepared for them to be human, to fail, and for them to not meet all your expectations. Because humans are messy, flawed creatures who all make mistakes.

If you remember nothing else from this entry on how to greet people, remember this quote from Mr. Miyagi, the fictional karate master of "The Karate Kid."

“Look eye, always look eye.”

And whether or not you know who Mr. Miyagi or Daniel-san are, that’s lesson one. When you meet someone, look eye. Always look eye. It projects confidence, gives you an initial read on this new person, and gives them your full undivided attention, even if just for a few seconds.

Grief is hard. Funerals are hard. Unfortunately, you can’t avoid the first and you shouldn’t avoid the second. I’m going to tell you why using a specific example; as I’m writing this, I’m grieving for a friend I loved and cared about very much. This wasn’t easy to write, and might be hard to read. But, it feels like I should write this down to both capture the immediate feelings and someday, help you deal with yours.

I want you to see the positive in others, in situations, and in yourself.

I want you to be kind when you criticize, season your scepticism with hope, and help people climb higher instead of knocking them down.

I want you to see and think about things and people this way, even thought it won’t always come naturally or be easy to do so. I know from experience, it’s something I still struggle with every day.

Seriously. I’m making most of this up as I go along. The truth is, we all are. From the Pope all the way down to the guy who services the Port-A-Jons, nobody really knows what they’re doing. Which is why you should never believe anyone who tells you they have it all figured out. They’re even more full of shit than the rest of us.

It seems simple, right? I’m not even asking you to not be a dick, I’m only asking you try not to be a dick. Unfortunately, this will be much more difficult than it sounds, not due to your shortcomings, but because it’s really hard to always not be a dick.

Someday, somebody’s going to take a dump your heart, and it’s gonna suck. The first time it happens, you’re not going to know what to do, how to handle it, or if you’ll ever fall in love again. You’ll wonder if love is even real and maybe swear it off forever.

This is me telling you when it does happen, take a deep breath keep your chin up. It’ll get better, you’ll feel better, and yes, it’s worth the pain.

An important asterisk on gender and sexual orientation.

You’re going to fuck up, and plenty. And that’s okay. What will not be okay is letting those fuck ups make you believe you are a fuckup. Take it from me, I’ve fucked up lots.

The thing is, fucking something up is one of the fastest ways to learn. You try, you fail, you do better next time. Experience and failure are great teachers; seek experience without fearing failure. But also, prepare. Learn how to open your parachute before jumping out of a plane. The more you know to begin with, the faster you’ll catch on, and the less you’ll die.